Military Leaders, Board Games and Dire Decisions


“For the last time, Jong Ung, we’re playing bloody snakes and ladders!”

“Nye nye,” the korean military leader attempted to mimic the other, “this game sucks balls John—just like you. Want me to start glueing a pair of bombs on your breast and start calling you Joahnna?”

“Oh shut up slant eyes. Can you even see me Ung? Are your eyes even open?”

“Doesn’t your throat hurt from all the deepthroa—”

“For fuck’s sake, guys, we are not 12. Please, stop acting like one.” Alexander said; his fingers massaged the bridge of his nose with his eyebrows drawn together indicating stress and annoyance.

“I’m a twelve on a scale of attractiveness from 1 to 10.”

“Shut up Ung.”

“You shut up Joahnna. Go back to the US and stuff your mouth with diabetes and cholesterol.”

“How about you two shut up?” Mao shouted while she threw the pair of dice on top of the board resulting to a pair of 1’s. Cursing under her breath, she kneed the bottom of the table to somehow flip the dice to no avail.

“The panda’s trying to cheat you guys,” Jong Ung slumped on his chair with an exaggerated look on his face. “That’s it, let’s change the game to YuGiOh or something. You know that Jumanji show?”

“What? Wanna get eaten by an animal?”

“Nah, I’m not as desperate to be eaten as you Justin,”

“It’s John.”

“Yeah Jude.”


“Guys, guys, please. We’re supposed to be having a mature game of–” Alexander stopped midsentence, his ocean blue eyes looked at the board in front of them, “–snakes and ladders. The issue right now is the fact that China’s claiming another property again. We, as a whole, are going to decide whether China gets that island or not.”

“Ah, yeah. So whoever wins have their say on the topic as absolute. All right, I thought we were just chillin’.” Izyan said while checking the pictures of Qatar, his country, in his phone with a proud look on his face.

“You think this is all a pointless game?” Mao asked with her eyes narrowing at Izyan.

“Woah no, chill.” The lad raised his hands up, “I was busy doing something important so I didn’t pay any attention. I’ll be taking things seriously now. Anyway, want to have dinner later?”

“I can’t believe this…” Alexander’s expression turned grim. No matter how hard he tried, he could not control the other participants to even play a simple, basic game. “This is why we argue and lead wars.”

“Yeah, Mao was constantly trying to move her piece 17 steps. She’s definitely trying to cheat.”

“I wasn’t talking about that, bloody hell. I was talking about you all. We are military leaders. We are supposed to be the image of maturity and professionalism. People look up to us!”

“Except John. Dudes look down on him while he fuc—,”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth Ung?” Asked Izyan.

“No, but I kiss yours.”


“Uh huh, that’s what they call me.”

“Fuck it Jong Ung stop with it already. Whatever he does and preference is none of our business.” Alexander was definitely going to rage quit soon.

“Thanks Alexander,” John said with a genuine smile. “I have always known you’re the best among these people.”

“Stay away from me John.”

Izyan throws the pair of dice on the table and got two 6’s making him near the last box of the game. Pleased with himself, he run his fingers on his mustache and winked at the Chinese military leader.

Disgusts sprawling on Mao’s body, she bit her lower lip and thought for a better strategy. She was near the goal as well. If only she were to get a 10, she would be able to win the game and make the men present here grovel before China’s supremacy.

“Like I said, Jumanji is the best option. You all refuse to listen to this genius and you question why we aren’t going anywhere.”

“Can you even get one? Are you even aware that what you are suggesting are all fictional?”

“No way, Jasper. That Jumanji film was a documentary!”

“Are you that much of a retard?”

“At least I’m not a fag—”

“Enough already, please.” Alexander’s energy was nearly drained at this moment. He knew that whoever might hear them would be annoyed to the brim. Putting a hand over his eyes, he was trying to hide his face in shame from the reader’s judgmental gaze. He wanted to apologize for all the comments.

“So you think you’re so big huh? You think I can’t handle you, Kimchi?”

“That’s what she said.”

“Are you really that immature?”

“Doesn’t your anus hurt Jerome?”

With the argument still going on, Mao reached for the dice, disregarding the fact that it was John’s turn, and threw it on the table. Praying that she would get a 10, she could hear her own heartbeat while anticipating.

The dice rolled painfully slow and everyone’s eyes stared at the breathtaking moment. It was do or die. Their prides were on the line and they would certainly walk away with their heads bowed down if they were to lose this game. After all, each of them claimed to be a master of it.

As the two dice ended their journey of a stroll on top of the board, they revealed the number that has decided humanity’s current decision:

It was a 9: 4 on the first cube and 5 on the other.

“What the actual—” Mao flipped the table in annoyance and proceeded to angrily walk out of the room. “Forget it, China’s not after that island anymore.”


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